If I Were a NASCAR Driver: Sponsors

Admit it.

If you’re a NASCAR fan (even a casual one), you’ve probably wondered what it would be like to be a NASCAR driver. If you’ve ever dreamed about being a driver, you’ve probably also pondered about which companies would sponsor your race car?

Don’t be shy … it’s okay to admit.

You can follow my lead. Here’s my confession: “I’ve often wondered which brands I would want to align myself with if I were fortunate (and talented) enough to be a NASCAR driver.”

There. It feels good, doesn’t it?

Of course, the companies or products I would want on my car are those I feel I could be a good steward for and those I can honestly endorse.

But then again, I’d be happy with any company that chose to sponsor me in one of NASCAR’s national touring series.

Regardless, here are the top five sponsors I’d have on my car.

SUN DROP: You want more honesty? Here you go. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have an “almost” unhealthy relationship with Sun Drop. I was first introduced to the sweet citrus soda when I was in high school and have loved it ever since. I lived without it as a daily staple in my diet for about five years while living near Washington D.C. Trust me, it was a dark period in my life, being without Sun Drop. But that all changed when I returned to North Carolina or “The Land of Sun Drop.” As for what my car would look like — I would be okay if it had an updated version of the paint scheme Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s Sun Drop-sponsored modified car ran in 1994.

U.S. NATIONAL PARK SERVICE: The U.S. National Park Service is part of the U.S. Department of the Interior, which means the park system is part of the U.S. government and, therefore, most likely never to sponsor a race car. I can still dream though. As a father of two young boys, I love taking them to the many national parks located throughout the country and soaking in the history and beauty they have to offer. Plus, imagine how awesome it would be to have several paint schemes featuring Yellowstone’s geysers, Acadia’s rugged coast, the sequoias of Yosemite and the majestic views of the Blue Ridge Mountains. But, alas, it can only be a dream.

CLAUSSEN PICKLES: If I were smart and as forward-thinking as I’d like to be, I would have bought stock in Claussen pickles before my boys were born. You think I’m kidding? Sadly, I’m not. My youngest son’s nickname is even “Pickle” due to his affinity for pickles, particularly Claussen pickles. I would consider him a pickle snob because not just any pickle will do — it has to be Claussen. He’s actually turned his nose up at other pickles. It doesn’t matter if they’re wholes, halves, spears or slices; he doesn’t discriminate in that sense. Also, we must always have at least two jars of pickles in the refrigerator because if one happens to run out and there’s not another jar, my wife and I would have a full-scale crisis on our hands. Again, I wish I were kidding, but I’m not. I say all this to say that Claussen would be a perfect sponsor for my race car and maybe they’d provide my son with all the pickles he could ever want. I’m also digging the idea of nicknaming my car, “The Pickle.” Just think of all the puns for whenever I get into trouble on the track — “Look at the pickle he’s gotten himself into.”

“THE AMAZING RACE”: I don’t watch a lot of television and when it is on, it’s usually on something that my boys are watching. However, I do seize control of the remote when “The Amazing Race” comes on. I love traveling to new places and learning about new cultures. Unfortunately, I don’t travel as much as I’d like to, so I live somewhat vicariously through the reality show’s contestants. The correlation between the show, being that it’s a race, and NASCAR are obvious and makes sense. The paint schemes would have to include images of the cool places the show has visited during its 28 seasons (e.g., Peru, Norway, New Zealand, etc.).

LIONEL RACING: This is a no-brainer. As an employee of Lionel Racing, I would like to think they would sponsor me. However, if I went down the path that led to becoming a NASCAR driver rather than the one I took that ultimately led me here, I’m not sure they would sponsor me. I’d still love to have them as a sponsor; however, because who doesn’t love die-cast. Lionel Racing did sponsor Regan Smith’s No. 7 Chevrolet Camaro in the fall 2013 NASCAR XFINITY Series race at Texas. Sooooo … there’s a chance?

Let us know in the comments section which companies would sponsor your car.


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